Listen to the conversations around you…… colleagues at the office, customers in the coffeehouse line, those who serve you, those you serve, the people you meet each day. "Give me a tall latte." "Hand me that hammer." "Have a good one."
Notice anything missing? The traditional magic words "please" and "thank you" that many people learn as children appear to be disappearing.
I blame the casualty on the casual.
The slow erosion of the 'magic words' in our everyday vernacular has to do with the predilection toward all things casual in our society today. Casual conversation, casual dress and casual behavior have hijacked practically all areas of life, and I do not think it is doing anyone a service.
Other polite phrases also seem to be falling by the wayside. "You're welcome," for instance. Say "thank you" to someone these days, and instead of hearing "you're welcome," you're more liable to hear: "Sure." "No problem." "You bet." "Enjoy." Or a long list of replies that replace the traditional "you're welcome."
Instead of saying "thank you," people say "got it." Or "have a good one." Or, more often, nothing at all. And in lieu of saying "no, thank you," reactions such as "I'm good" are increasingly common.
The responses 'have a good one,' 'I'm good' or 'you bet,' do not carry the same sentiment or convey the same conviction as when we are sincerely expressing our gratitude or thanks. They feel less invested, almost as if they are painful to utter under our breath.
Please excuse us for asking the questions:
Are we just finding new ways to say old, polite phrases?
Are good manners merely morphing?
Or are they fading away altogether?
Becoming More Rude…….
Simple things that we took for granted as children no longer seem to count.
Saying please and thank you, asking permission, offering unsolicited help, and following up on solutions to problems are no longer as important.
Go through any drive-through at a fast-food restaurant in America.
Go through any checkout line in a grocery store.
Stand in line at a convenience store. If you are very lucky, the person waiting on you will make eye contact. Maybe they will speak. More likely, they will hand you your drink and bag while looking back over their shoulder, never even acknowledging your person-hood much less your status as a customer.
The checkout person "will check you out," all the while being 'checked out' emotionally from the situation. Worst of all, as I experienced in an airport in the last couple of years, a kiosk worker will blandly bag your item, swipe your debit card, hand you your receipt, all while having a conversation on her cellphone. Amazing. Outrageous.
People are becoming more rude and less civil……
It is important to show respect for other people by greeting them when you first see them… in the hallway, at a meeting, on the street and especially at our shows!!!!
The form of greeting, though, has morphed over time.
"How do you do?" became "Hello, how are you?" which eventually changed into "Hello, how are things?" Or "How's it going?"
As a result of the metamorphosis, today it would sound a little stilted and perhaps even disrespectful if a sarcastic tone is used to say 'How do you do?' "
And what about other popular substitutions, such as "no problem" for "you're welcome"?
The phrase "you're welcome" has long been the commonly accepted courteous response. But the norms, and the manners and the mores…may change.
What won't change, is the importance of acknowledging appreciation expressed….
Food for thought...get a plate!!
Lynn
Comments
I just returned from Italy and everywhere people are saying "Per favore", "Grazie", and "Prego". Manners are alive and well there!
I, too wince at "No Problem" as if someone went out of their way to do what is normally expected, 1-at their jobs - 2- just being a fellow human being. Those are the family values that matter if they are not taught or "lost in translation" as your welcome seems to be.
I have noticed the same thing; I particularly wince at "no problem," instead of "you're welcome." On the other hand, I always enjoy going to Chik-Fil-A because everyone is trained to say, "My pleasure" when thanked.
We taught our kids manners and my grandson has beautiful manners. It's surprising, really, how often he's complimented on his manners, when he's simply being courteous.
I know I can't control anyone else's behavior, so I just do as I was taught and thank people, excuse myself when I get in the way, say "may I please have" instead of "give me," and so on. Leading by example? I doubt it, but at least I'm satisfied that I have been kind.
On a side note, I usually add to my jewelry customers, "wear it in good health." I lost a good friend much too soon and since then it seems important to me to put that small blessing out there; it's not religion, it's more on the line of "good luck." My customers seem to really like the gesture; more than one has looked back with a dawning smile, realizing what a fine thing it is.
A very big "Thank you all" for reading and/or answering my post!!!
I'm totally on the bandwagon of hating No Problem replacing Thank You. I don't buy the excuse of stress - or really any excuse. It's two words either way!
"No problem, I don't mind giving you an opportunity to give me money."
I'm kind of a fan of new words, and watching our language change - it's interesting! But sometimes the original is best, in my opinion. Let's pretend 75% of the population says No Problem. As a matter of customer service, why wouldn't you want to reach 100% of the population? I'm sure the No Problem people don't mind Thank you. But there are definitely people who mind No Problem.
I know, I know, not everyone understand the meaningfulness of customer service! That's another conversation altogether.
Thanks so much! <-- my common retort
Stefani
Not only do I thank every single person...when time allows...I also thank them for choosing to shop with me, as I know full well they could have gone someplace else...but they didn't. As...I to experience the indifference more times than I care to say...and when I bring it to management's attention - you guessed it - I get treated the same. And then I have a choice, do I continue to keep paying their paycheck...or do I look to honor someone else instead.
Speaking of thank yous, I just got the best thank you ever. I made my niece a fused glass plate for her wedding. It was pretty cool looking. Anyway, we just received a thank you that said "It is our favorite wedding gift and sits proudly on our dining room table." She is a pretty awesome girl. Hopefully she didn't tell everyone that their gift was the favorite lol!
Lynn, yes, society is becoming less well mannered. As a substitute teacher I notice many kids are not being taught manners. It shows everywhere. We have become a "Me, Me" society and people sometimes seem to think they are the only ones important and they can do as they like. Teachers try to remind kids to say please and thank you but when those are foreign words to them at home it is hard to break old habits.
When it comes to cell phones at work I have often thought that if I hired someone and they kept fiddling with those cell phones they would be gone. Teachers have been made to feel that kids have to have cell phones at school and battle their use in classrooms everyday. That has carried over to countless people thinking it is their right to text/talk on their cell phones as they drive. Manners start at home.
I stopped passing out Halloween candy a few years ago because of rudeness and the lack of "thank yous." I kind of got sick of kids not offering a simple thank you when being prompted by me or on rare occasion their parents. And lately I notice that graduates are not even sending out thank yous for gifts either.
-
1
-
2
of 2 Next