THIS PACKAGE WILL BLOW ATTENDEES AWAY--IT IS A MUST-HAVE!
#Naturally, everything is included from both Package 1 and 2.
#THE MUCH ANTICIPATED LINKAGE FEE (Thanks go to Amy Amdur, one of the first show directors who figured out you could charge extra (linkage) for you and your honey to be next to each other at an art show).
For a mere $50 extra, on top of the $999, you and your honey both get to sit together in the Artist Chair. And it is your choice where you want to sit--front, back, hell, even in the neighboring booth.
Imagine the joint thrill as you both whisper Sweet-Nothings into potential client's ears. Think of the joy you will get when you look a customer right in the eyes and say, "I don't think you can really afford that piece." Watch the wheels go around.
#If the artist wins a ribbon at the show, you get to keep it. He gets the cash, you get the ribbon.
#In a show that pulls pieces for judging, you will get the thrill of walking four blocks to the building and retrieving the piece.
You will experience the delicious thrill of victory or defeat as you first walk in and find the piece. Will it be with ribbon? Or without?
#Workshop Attendees get a choice of either helping the artist setup and stock their booth at the beginning of a show. Imagine the thrill of sitting in a long line of vans waiting to pull in at 4 AM in the morn. Or you can choose to help teardown and restock the van.
#If an artist, while at a show, has just been accepted into the show via Zapplication, you will get the thrill of pressing "The Accept Button" on their Internet device. There is a slight $25 up charge if the button is on a Tablet rather than a smartphone. Heck, the Button is larger on the Tablet, and it should cost more because of the additional excitement.
#When a show committee member comes around soliciting an artist for a donation to a charity drawing, you get the thrill to speak for the artist and say,"Nuts to you buddy, we aint giving anymore."
#Finally, you get to blog about your experience on ArtFairInsider, either Geoff Coe or Me will let you know which day we want to screw around either shooting birds, or birdies, and you can fill our spots on AFI. We will teach you neat tricks, on how to string them along--how to get more than 1000 hits off a half-baked idea.
Well, that is my scheme. It is all quite doable.
Thanks go out to: Terry and Deborah --could not have done it without your inspirations.
To my Mom-who taught me to type with two fingers.
To Constance Mettler, who lets me blog away to my heart's content.
That's it--I am out of here.
Comments
Yep I have never been one of the anointed ones of east Lansing either. I am keeping my jury fee and will buy more wine.I really love your posts.
Very funny!!!!!
Well, Barely Barry--I can spell "Atrocious."
So take your day-old meat pies and jump in Lake Superior.
Actually, gentlemen, I am in southern California right now and checking out some good contacts. It is late at night and I just read this entire thread and I am taking the snide remarks about me in stride -- a good Malbec does help. But -- I'm thinking Bill Coleman of BC Entertainment (not Bill Coleman photographer, btw) may have the right idea. Any good show worth its salt these days has an auction and this could be the top prize, not those two weeks in Acapulco, or the spa in Colorado, or front row seats to the NCAA Final Four, (go BLUE!) but the Uber Package! Nels could show up in his bathrobe, Barry in his cold weather gear and any AFIers in the show could be the back up singers ... you know I'm thinking that Rick Bryant at the Central PA Festival of the Arts is the perfect show director to have the inaugural push for your franchise. Anyone going to be there in July?
Hilarious!!!
Connie is going to drive us around and make sure we are on time to our appointments. If we keep her hands busy, two hands on the wheel, answering the cell, she won't have time to drink all the tequila, only half. She can introduce us to her millionaire son and all his connections.
I've watched you type. It is really annoying. Come to think of it, you were getting annoyed, too, by my looking over your shoulder correcting your spelling which is atrocious. Your spelling is worse than your typing, if that is possible.
meant "perma-frost" above--frigging typos--have another glass of Conundrum, Nels.
Can you guess I had great day on the golf course and cooked killer crab cakes tonite. Along with a killer bottle of Conundrum.
OK, we will let Connie come too, but she is a Diva, she will drip us dry of every good drop of tequila we have--don't forget my unforgettable blog from East Lansing two years ago--the same people who were too stupid to invite me, or Parker into their show, let alone the wait list, these people must have "perm-frost-on-the-brain if they can't recognize great original talent.
I will come Barry, as long as I get to wear my muscle shirt--I will flat-ass Ripple them to death--I know Leo and Nicholas if that will help for intros--Oh, BTW, have you got anything good to smoke, besides whitefish and old firewood.
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