I'm back and have a story to share!

I just want to say to Connie and all who particpate on this site that while I have disappeared for a month or two I am in love with this site all over again.  The content is great!  I love seeing booth shots and detailed reviews of art fairs.  The month of May was hectic - shows each weekend and no time to really catch up doing stock.  All the fairs were in Maryland and have to say Maryland is a good state to be in as my sales are better than last years totals.  

 

The "story" I have to share pertains to my dad.  I was lucky that I didn't have any fairs for June as my dad, who has been in poor health for 9 years took a turn for the worse - the month I didn't have fairs.  That month being June.  He passed away two weeks ago and just have to say that despite it being a hard thing to go through I am relieved he isn't suffering and didn't happen when in the middle of doing an art fair.  I was doing a great show - Wine in the Woods in Columbia, MD when I had the awful thought - what if I get "the call" in the middle of the fair".  I didn't but the thought scared me to death....  My dad was an avid photographer and taught me a lot about taking photographs, framing and appreciate art in general.  He, in return, was one of my biggest fans.  On that note, has anyone here had to deal with running a business on top of dealing with the death of a loved one?  Right now I am playing catch up as I do not have any fairs in July or August (but not ruling out August entirely) meanwhile helping my mom deal with, well paperwork and such.  I am guessing I should go by the old addage - Just do it - get the work done so it is out of the way and move on to more creative fun work.  So, does anyone have any stories or advice for me with regard to this topic?  My next show, the Maryland Seafood Festival,  is in early Sept. and going to be my biggest show ever which I think, providing the weather will be good, could be a great pay day for me.  My focus is taking the time now to get my ducks in a row so I can do a good job at that show.  Just an FYI in case people are wondering.   I hope all are having good shows and continue to have good shows.  I plan on checking in more often now.  :-)  - Michelle

 

P.S.  I now have a lot of his work, would it be a good idea to do a "private show" exhibiting his work?  Has anyone done anything like that before - like an open house, or showing at a library or something along that line?  I have only sold my items at art fairs, so this also is new territory 

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  • We can't control what life dishes out at us, but we can control how we respond. That emergency action plan is exactly what I need. Don't know how I've managed without one until now. Been kinda cowering in fear, figuring I'd duck when the sky started falling in on me.

    For me, doing shows is like being " on stage." I keep a very public face on during exhibit hours. I don't take phone calls or even engage in private conversation with my partner or sales help. My personal life is what happens "off stage." The notion of a personal disaster occurring during a show just stuns me. Now that I have had a chance to think about, I think the first thing to do is literally draw the curtains. Drop the tent sides and collect myself. Then, secure my cash box and jewelry and contact the promoter. If there is a friendly neighbor, I might tell her/him before I walk out to look for the promoter. Or better yet, phone the promoter from my cell. Some promoters give you an emergency phone number at check-in. That's a good start.

    I'll have to stop posting now because I'm on the road on an iPad and can't see what I'm writing. Thank you to all who are helping to sort this out.
  • My most sincere sympathy.  I was still doing a few shows last year while taking care of my grandmother. I had sitters to stay with her while I was gone, but they could not make decisions about her care. I let the show organizers know what my situation was at the begining of each show. I had an Emergency Action Plan for every scenario I could think of, including whether or not the show organizers were supportive or not. A couple of times I hired an assistant just in case I needed to leave in a hurry.

    Some members of my family thought I was nuts for taking on the care of my grandmother instead of putting her in a home, but I bet you all understand perfectly why I did not. 

    That same Emergency Action Plan also comes in handy for health, auto, and weather related disasters. Ever have a kidney stone in the middle of an outdoor show in July? Never thought of that one until it happened.

    The most important piece of advise you can take about taking care of someone else and recovering from their death is to take care of yourself. It takes a huge toll on you physically and emotionally, and sometimes you don't realize how much so until you finally "relax". Then you suddenly find yourselfexhausted,  depressed, and catching every bug that passes.  So be sure to take your vitamens and do something just for you.

     

  • Michelle, thank you so much.  You are a very together person to be able to give advice on this so soon. Again, I'm very sorry for your loss. An exhibit/memorial sounds like a lovely way to commemorate your father's life. Good luck with the memorial and with your work as you start to recover.
  • To Wendy - I did come up with a Plan B if "the call" happened while at a show.  Scenario 1 - if I had a helper or my husband, that person would stay and work the rest of the show while I leave then come back  to the show before it ended to pack up .  Scenario 2 - just do the fair.  Some might think it is an insensitive thought, but I feel it is my responsibility to finish what I started that day (the main exception are to do lists if not at a fair) and continue doing the fair, and immediately afterwards go to the hospital, book air fares, etc. and take care of family concerns then.  Having just gone through this, hindsight helps.  I am an only child and so is my mom (whose parents are no longer with us as well) preparing and all is more routine than I would like it to be.  While everyone deals with this in different ways and of course it will be different if you are the caregiver of someone who is terminally ill or the death happens due to an accident - there isn't a sure way to deal with things.  Plan C is if I heard the person passed enroute to the fair or during set up - I would leave, it wouldn't be much more effort to leave the show at that time.  In all scenarios, however, the key is to let the show organizer know what happened ASAP.  Some might be very understanding and help you like a dear friend.  Others might not, but I would like to think they of all people would understand because so many things happen 24 hours before an event it is just crazy with the main prerogative being pleasing everyone.

     

    For all others who found the time to chime in - thanks!!!  I appreciate the comforting words.  My mom and I will do a show/exhibition/whatever in one year to honor him and share his work with others.  It will take a lot of planning, but it was something I would have wanted him to do while he was still around to hear how the compliments and all.   Regardless - I hope all is well and for those who are in my shoes - it will get easier - just don't let the whole experience overwhelm you and TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF!!!  - Michelle

  • Thanks Jacki and Ruth. I'm beginning to think that it isn't important what the plan is, per se. It's having a plan. At my July 4th show, my "civilian" husband will be with me. At my July 14th show, I'll have a helper who is just a kid. Different shows, different situations. I'll need different plans. The kindness of strangers can be amazing, as in Ruth's story. But you can't rely on that.
  • Wendy - I've seen this happen at one show where an artist lost her father on a Saturday afternoon. She flagged down one of the volunteers, explained what happened and that she needed to pack up and leave.   This particular show had an amazing, supportive response.  Within 10 minutes she had 6 volunteers in her booth helping her to pack out, they brought extra hand carts, etc. and within 30 minutes had her packed and loaded out of the show and then helped her pack her truck.  I know that this level of support / volunteers may not happen at every show, but the show directors are human and understand life happens.
  • Wendy, you have very good questions.  I think it is very important to be prepared otherwise you can be blindsided and fall completely apart.  I feel for you Wendy, you know it is coming and that weight must be awfully heavy.  Do you do your shows alone or do you have a helper with you?  If you have a partner or helper the plan would be to leave them in charge.  Surely, there has to be someone at AFI that has actually had this same senario happen to them during a show.  Maybe someone else will be so good as to post how they got through their crisis.  We can learn from others and that is what this website is all about.
  • Thank you all writing and sharing.

    Michelle, I'm very sorry about your father.

    I am reading this all with a lump in my throat because I've been living in terror for the past year with exactly the same situation. My dad has been in a sharp decline and the original news came while I was in the middle of a show. I held it together until the minute the show closed. Then, instead of breaking down my booth, I drew the tent flaps shut, sat down on the ground behind my counter and cried my heart out.

    After that show, I considered cancelling my future shows, but which one(s)? I decided to keep my schedule -- with the plan of dropping everything in case of an emergency. Luckily, I have 3 caring siblings. Since October, I've made 5 trips to Florida to be with my father between shows. Still, I wonder: what happens if something terrible happens while I'm in the middle of a show? Do I just close up the flaps and make plans to go home? 

    Ruth, a light bulb when on when I read your post. Of course I should make a plan for each show I go to. How will I get home, who will pack up the booth, how will I get to Florida the quickest way possible. These are things I should prepare for in advance. Ironically, I've been posting and reading elsewhere on this forum about booths and weather preparedness. Silly me. Nevermind the gale winds and flash floods...the most threatening situation for me is the death of my father.  Your message was very helpful.

    So, now that I'm taking a dry-eyed look at this situation, I'm asking: What do you do when the bad news comes while you're at a show? Literally. Close up the booth? Breakdown and go home? What if you get the news in the morning? Leave the booth closed up until the end of the day and breakdown then? Can I even get out? Is it difficult/impossible to breakdown after the first day in a two-day show? Surely this has happened to other people. 

    This is a dreadful topic and I'm sorry to be asking these questions, but  I would really appreciate any insights. Please, I'm not looking for sympathy because I already know how caring and kind you all can be. My question is: As a businesswoman and sole proprietor of my company, what is the procedure for a death in the family/emergency during a show? What do I need to worry about -- in terms of my business and inventory (my self and family are another matter for another discussion). Even though I'm asking you for the cold, hard facts, please know that I am writing this as I have been doing everything for the past year -- on the verge of tears, just trying to be smart and keep it together. Thanks in advance for your kindness. 

     

  • Michelle, so sorry to hear about the loss of your father.  My best advice is just to take the time you need to help your mom, deal with your own grief and do the best you can.  Art shows will always be there, work will always need to be done but right now you need to take the time you need to help your mom and take care of yourself.  I'm not sure if our family crisis' will help you realize it's just part of lfe we face, but here's our story.

    We've had at least 5 family crisis' during or right before shows, ironically for us it always seems to almost always happen when it's the one weekend out of 5 or 6 that we have a show.  We've had the death of my husband's grandmother, a suicide in the extended family, my father had heart surgery the day before one of our biggest shows of the year, my mother-in-law was put under hospice care during our last show in December one year,  and then there was the year my sister was in ICU in a medical induced coma and we had no idea if she was going to live.  My husband and I have both gone to shows with a suitcase in the truck and the phone number of the local taxi company in case one of us needed to leave and get to the airport.   In every situation we've been in close contact with our family and just worked through what we needed to do and when. We've got some close friends who in each case offered to help out with any logistics including rides to the airport or helping us out at an art show.    I look back now and wonder how I was ever coherent and able to deal with the customers on those weekends but somehow we got through it and survived.

    You will get through this as a stronger person!  I love the idea of honoring your father with a private showing which I think would be great for you, your Mom and extended family.

  • Michelle, I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I lost both of my parents within 2 years of each other. I wasn't running a  business at the time, but I was teaching 1st grade.  And it was difficult to stay focused and keep it togerher at times. Right now, you're probably still in automatic mode. Something to keep in mind while your supporting your mother, is to also take care of yourself.  It just happened that we had family vacations planned a month after each of my parents passed. That was the best thing for me - to spend time with my daughter and my husband.

     

    I think a private show of your father's work would be wonderful way to honor your father. You definitely should talk with you local library or somewhere else.

    My thoughts are with you. ♥

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