How NOT to get accepted into a show

I'm on a rant this morning. If this is you, please don't be offended, be educated. If it's not you, bless you, on behalf of all show directors.

Every year, as the applications for the shows I direct come rolling in, I'm amazed that some artists just do NOT follow directions stated very explicitly on the prospectus AND on the application, itself. The majority pays attention, but the minority that doesn't makes my job far more difficult.

In the six I just opened this morning, these are just a few of the things I've encountered:

Check made out to the wrong payee: If the brochure/application specifies to whom checks should be made payable (not the name of the show), do NOT make the check payable to the name of the show. There's a reason that's in bold type on the application. Checks made payable to the wrong payee will be rejected by the bank, and by the time you are notified and send a new check, you may miss the application deadline.

No jury fee included: No application will be considered without a jury fee. I call or email artists if the fee is missing, but many shows simply toss the application without further action. Again, by the time you get your fee to us, it may be past the deadline.

No signature on the application where indicated: If the application has a space for your signature AND your printed name, print your name and SIGN the application. Without the signature, your application goes to the bottom of the stack.

No artist's name: When the application specifically states "your printed name, not your company name," print your legal name. It's tough to make your name tag if I don't have your name, and if I should have to call you, I like to know who I'm calling.

No phone number: Hello? I understand that some people don't have email addresses, so it's OK if you leave that blank, but I don't recall knowing anyone without a phone. Your personal information never leaves my office, so even if your number is private, it's necessary in case I need to reach you for any reason.

Description of images is missing: If it says, in colored, bold type, "Complete the required description of your entries on the reverse. Entries not completely filled out will not be accepted," you really need to do that, because without the description, your application won't be considered, no matter how nice your art looks in the pictures.

Images not labeled with your name: When I receive an application, I put the entire contents into a clear plastic sleeve. I also make a folder on the computer for each artist, into which I load images from the CD or the images I've scanned from the prints. However, when I open a CD with images numbered straight off the memory card with DSC0039, or I get photos that are not marked (how do I know which side is up?), it's all too easy to lose track of the artist who goes with them.

No images: OK, I forget stuff, too, but without images, there's nothing to jury. When I call you to let you know that I received no images, please don't shoot the messenger. (The woman this morning was especially crabby. Must not have had her morning coffee.)

SASE: If you would like your CD or larger prints returned to you, a #10 envelope won't do the job. That's why the application says, "Images will be returned to participants only if an appropriately sized S.A.S.E. with proper postage is included with entry." If you didn't send the right size envelope, or you didn't put enough postage on your envelope, please don't call me up to yell at me for not returning your images.

A general observation: Applications with images that represent an artist's work poorly are rarely accepted. Last year, someone sent a page printed from a printer that only had magenta and cyan ink left. We couldn't even tell what the images were. The application was rejected.

On to the next stack. Comments welcome, but please don't flame me. I'm an artist doing shows, too, and I have to follow the same rules as everyone else.
Barbara